By David Hobbs
In Israel’s spiritual life,
there were times of great activity and drama, and other times of quietness and
peace. There were times when “the mountain
burned with fire unto the midst of heaven, with darkness, clouds, and thick
darkness.” [Deut. 4:11], times with …
“… the sound of a
trumpet and the voice of words, so that those who heard it begged that
the word should not be spoken to them anymore. (For they could not endure what
was commanded: ‘And if so much as a beast touches the mountain, it shall be
stoned or shot with an arrow. ‘And so terrifying was the sight that
Moses said, ‘I am exceedingly afraid and trembling.’) [Heb. 12:19-21].
And there are times when "the
waters of Shiloah that go softly” [Isa. 8:6], when “the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance
for ever” [Isa. 32:17]. There are times when "the mountain is on a smoke,"and times when the mountain lies quiet.
I experienced that last week. I was
preaching two weeks in a row at two different churches, which always puts me
under stress. Maybe regular pastors get used to it, but it still puts me under
a lot of pressure--to hear the Lord’s voice and know what He wants to say
through me, to get all the scriptures down, and most importantly: to discern
the right weave through the pages of scriptures in order to flow in the stream
of the Holy Spirit.
My first week I had woken up at 2:30
Sunday morning to pray and wait on the Lord, only to find that my computer was disconnected
from the Internet and the printer. I had worked till breakfast on it and
finally got the printer going so I could print out my notes. I still
couldn’t reconnect to the Internet.
Now a week later I was back connected to
the Internet and the printer, but other things kept going wrong. My
frustration level was rising, my patience had evaporated, and the demons were
taking full advantage of the door I had opened to them in the spirit realm. When I finally sat down to breakfast and tried to say grace, it became apparent
how much bondage my giving vent to frustration had brought me. I cried out in anguish, glad I was alone in
the house. The spiritual oppression was like a cement wall sitting on me.
“God,” I cried, “I’m sorry! Forgive me!” Then I became even more aware of
the demonic oppression weighing down on me. “My God get them off me!” I cried out.
In the moments of silence that followed, I felt like angels were indeed peeling
them off one by one.
After I finished my cereal I felt much better. I launched
into song and began praising the Lord with a loud voice. For a long time I continued
a barrage of singing and praising, casting down principalities and powers and
proclaiming the victory of Jesus Christ on the cross. It covered me with a wave of
triumph that infused my whole being!
The preaching had gone well, though it
was a tough crowd.
After all that drama, when Monday rolled around I rested from
spiritual things and turned to natural things, going through the mail and paying
the bills for the past two weeks. In the afternoon I went and visited some
people at the hospital.
That evening I was done with all that
and wanted to pray and seek the Lord for a while, and that’s when I came to the
realization that “the mountain was quiet.” I was at peace in the softly flowing
waters of Shiloah, but so was the mountain. The Lord, at least regarding any
manifestation or felt presence, seemed far away on His mountain. It was not the
feeling of abandonment I get when I blow it and He leaves me to my own devices until I repent. There was peace between us, but also
space.
I
went in and lay on my bed. It was a different sensation: the mountain being quiet.
As the room grew dark in the gathering dusk, I took stock. There was nothing else
I wanted to do, nothing to hurry off to. The house was empty; I wasn’t hungry;
I didn’t want to read or recreate or listen to music or sleep or anything else.
So I lay there and pondered the mountain. “Lord I don’t have the energy to
scale the mountain: to seek you vigorously for a breakthrough. But there’s nothing
else I want other than you. Won’t you come to me in this room so we can spend
some time together? Maybe I won’t have to climb the top of the mountain; maybe You
can come to me.”
And
He did. Gradually He made Himself known to me and I invited Him to sit in the
chair by the bed. We had a time of the Holy Spirit quickening things to me and
me praying them out. I asked to hear His voice and I imagined what it would be
like if He suddenly spoke to me in an audible voice (but He didn’t). I thought
of heaven and how I longed to be there and be part of the worship. I enthused
how wonderful to be there pouring out everything within me in worship to the
King.
Then
it hit me. “Lord,” I said, “why would you leave the glories of heaven and come
down to sit in this dark room with me?” It was unfathomable.
I
still didn’t hear His voice, but a fleeting thought went through my mind: “Because you are here.”
“What!?
You love me so much that You would leave the glories of heaven and come down
and sit with me in this darkness?”
“Wasn’t
that what Jesus did?”
I
was crying now. That was what Jesus
did.
The
mountain was quiet, but God was there.