Experience God In Prayer

By Annie Hickey

David posed this question to me recently: "Do you have an experience where you encountered God in prayer?" Wow!! I had to think about the best way to relate that to the people who might read this. I spent a few days contemplating the challenge. As that was going on, I received a phone call from an attorney I had worked with in the past. He had represented me in a very unusual litigation matter that had been on-going for a couple of years. Although he was not representing me at the time I received the phone call. I need to back this story up a little. The attorney had a legal assistant working for him by the name of Denise. Denise and I had grown very close during the litigation process. Denise has a wonderfully calming voice and a soothing personality. I think that is a real gift. I've never had that. I've prayed all my adult life to be empowered as a woman of quiet spirit. Instead, God seems to give me more boisterous personality with each passing milestone. It reminds me that he has a real sense of humor. But I digress. There were times because of the length of time I worked with this particular attorney in litigation that we had grown very comfortable in our conversations. You know what they say about familiarity? It breeds contempt. I often think of this in terms of families. When people are close to each other, they say things to each other where given exactly the same circumstance with another individual, they would exercise much more restraint or choose words more carefully. The attorney and I had reached this stage early on. When I would be particularly frustrated, Denise just offered such a calming influence that my frustration and anger would just dissipate.

I showed up in the law office two years ago just before Christmas to bring gifts to the attorney and to Denise. I thought a good will showing was certainly in order. Things had been a little strained. I had arrived there from another legal meeting that had been extremely emotional and had gotten what I felt was horrible news in transit. My mind frame was very strained at this point. I entered the office noticing immediately that there was someone else at the front desk that would normally have been occupied by Denise. Upon being shown to the attorney's office, I asked about where Denise might be. I explained that I had brought her a special gift for Christmas.

The attorney began to tell me an unbelievable story. He said that Denise was being deported to Haiti where she was originally from. I had not known she was from Haiti. Both as a Christian and as a person with some political knowledge, I knew Haiti to be a place of social and political unrest and poverty. I also knew that often that environment was very unfair and unforgiving. The attorney further explained that Denise had been attempting to take a trip somewhere that required a passport when something from her past in Haiti had been discovered. It was very likely that the discovered thing was not even true. Crimes and such matters were very often fabricated there. However, Denise had been arrested and sent to an INS detention center to await a hearing that would result in her being sent back to Haiti. Denise's children were born in South Florida and as such were American Citizens. Denise was divorced and I was told she had enough time to get her children to her Sister's home prior to being detained.

I sat there devastated and dejected. I immediately asked what was being done to help. I was told there was nothing to be done. I was told that it was not possible for me or anyone else to help in this situation. I left the office in shock almost immediately. Denise would not even be allowed to apply to return to this Country on a visa for at least 10 years. Being a single mother, my heart broke for her. How could she be torn like this from her children? I knew her to be always caring and concerned. I knew her to be a very diligent worker. It hardly seemed fair. I began making phone calls before I even reached the car. I called anyone of political influence I knew and asked about how to go about helping. I had people making phone calls. I had people with political influence offering to contact the attorney. I was told that there was hope if acted on fast enough. I felt lost. My friend, Doug who had been with me both in Miami and in the attorney's office took time out to pray with me for Denise's safety and for the impossibility of overcoming the government machine that had been set in motion.

Despite our efforts, I never heard of any outcomes nor was I able to track the course of Denise's circumstance. My heart was truly burdened for this young lady. Doug and I spoke of her often and prayed for her often. I could not help but to feel that I had somehow let her down. I was somewhat angry at the attorney for not doing more to help. He was an attorney for crying out loud! Surely he could have filed a motion or something.

Between this past Thanksgiving (2007) and Christmas, my church was sending a missions team to Haiti. I was so excited when the trip was announced. I was determined to be a part of the team so that I could find Denise and reassure her that God had not forgotten her. I was hoping to be a bridge between her and her children also. I figured that was the least I could do. My health had been of some concern. I was recovering from something life-threatening at the time and although I had made significant progress, my physician said it just was not wise to make the trip. I reluctantly agreed to stay behind. I was disappointed and felt that I was letting Denise down all over again. I could do nothing more, so I prayed. "God, you have laid such a burden on my heart for this young woman. Let me never forget to lift up her situation to you. Put someone in her path who can help." I had told Denise's story to several people and I gathered prayer warriors to help in lifting up her situation. I knew that God would make good of this even if I did not know how he would manage that.

This brings us back to the phone call I received last week. I was shocked to see the attorney calling me as identified by my caller ID. I had at some point after Denise's departure moved the case to local lawyer where I lived. The attorney who had represented me in the past worked and lived several hours away from where I lived. He was calling me to ask how I was being treated up here by the attorneys and just get an update on how my litigation was developing. During the course of the conversation, he dropped the most wonderful bomb on me. "You'll never guess who's back working for me?", he teased. "Kathy Mehaffey, I thought she was practicing real estate law now?" I countered. "No...not at all. I think she's doing well though.", he replied. "Then I'm afraid I am not going to have a clue who might be working for you that I would recognize.", I answered honestly. "It's Denise.", he said with excitement in his voice. I stumbled over my own brain at this point. I could not even format a response. That's not possible. I must have misunderstood him. "But Denise was deported to Haiti...", I exclaimed in utter disbelief. "Well...funny thing...she got up to the INS hearing and the judge listened to her story and sent her home. Told her to go be with her children." "That just doesn't happen. " I exclaimed. He said he knew but it had.

Immediately, right then, I felt God's presence in every aspect of my life and my own situation. I felt him right in the vehicle with me. I knew that the burden he had given me for this dear woman was done so that she would be constantly brought to his throne room. I knew that while I had not been able to physically intervene, he had given me a much more significant role. He had wanted me to be undiverted from the ever important task of prayer over her situation. Prayer does not just have it's place in our lives, it should be the foundation of our everyday existence. Prayer keeps us in God's presence. The further we go in our walk, the more our lives should become a means of breathing prayers as well as speaking or writing them. Prayer is the means by which we share our lives with our Creator's.

My own story, as I am sure your is as well, is sometimes unbelievable and incredible. I am still amazed after all the places I have walked to find that God is so concerned with my everyday life. To say that I am thankful for all he is and all he has done is a weak choice of words compared to how my heart really feels. We experience God in prayer and in his answers. Experience him today.

Prayerfully Yours,

Annie Hickey

Author of Faith You Can Borrow

Ladies' Intersessory Prayer Meeting

Anonymous Friend

* * * * * *

[The blog this week is a guest posting from one of the elder's wives in our church. This prayer meeting happened around the first week of March, 2008]

The Tuesday this prayer meeting happened I woke up experiencing some negative physical things in my body, I was hemorrhaging almost like I was having a miscarriage. This caused me to wonder if I should stay home from the meeting, but I sensed the Lord saying that He wanted me to go and also asking me if He could use my body as a sign--so I went.
As I came into the meeting a wave of deep sadness took hold of me and I could not do anything but lie on the floor and weep in intercession. I was not sure of the burden God was putting on me but suddenly Cheryl [the pastor's wife] handed me the mike and asked me to pray. Since I was not sure what it was all about I just prayed in tongues. At this point the Spirit of God started falling all over the room. A group of women over near the door were wailing in deep intercession, feeling like they were birthing something. Another group started dancing around in a circle in the middle of the room. Still others looked confused, like they didn’t know what was going on. One woman came over to ask me about a scheduling item but I couldn’t even answer her.
I was wondering what to do next, when I felt I should go to the wailing group and lay hands on them and pray over them. That was easier said than done as I was still so weak under the power of the Spirit that I couldn’t stand. After several tries I finally just crawled over to the group of ladies and prayed for them—the Spirit told me later I was helping in their spiritual birthing process as a midwife.
At this point I felt the Lord say that I was praying against abortion, both physical and spiritual. Cheryl came over and laid her hands on me as I was praying for the others. As soon as her hands touched me another wave of the Spirit fell on me in power and I struggled to my feet and began to do what felt like an Indian war dance. It was just like you would see in an old western on TV—I was twisting and spinning and raising and lowering my body. The Spirit was on me so strongly that I was almost out of control At this point a spiritual lady named Christine came up and began prophesying that God was using my body as a sign--the very thing he had told me that morning in private!
After this I felt spent but was very aware that the hemorrhaging had ceased. As I continued in intercession I heard the Lord say that He was shaking everything that could be shaken and was responding to the cries of His precious aborted ones who were crying out for their destinies to be fulfilled in this generation!
One of the first things I read when the meeting was over was the following from the Elijah List. God was just confirming to me that the deep intercession I was feeling was about abortion. I also felt a deep sobering in my spirit to pray that what God was trying to birth in us as a church would not be aborted but that we would indeed fulfill our destiny in this season! x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

The Room of the Aborted [from The Elijah List]
(by Shawn Boltz)

In heaven, there is a special room that a few prophetic people have seen through visions and trances. I saw it first when I was sixteen years old and it helped me to understand God's justice system. Recently I saw this spiritual place again and discovered it is a room within the Courts of Heaven. It is called the "abortion room" and in this room there are millions of innocents who were destroyed through abortion before their purpose on earth could be completed. These precious ones are crying out before the Mercy seat. They long for a recompense to be delivered by Jesus in response to their lives being cut short.
I heard the cry of one of the females who was aborted and she was pointing down at a girl her exact same age on the Earth who was still alive. "Lord you know that I was killed and my calling was aborted, not just my life; will you expand her calling (finger pointing to the young lady on Earth) and give her my purpose that you had created for me before the beginning of time so that you can inherit your full reward?" To this God said "yes", and the girl on Earth was expanded supernaturally to walk in more anointing and purpose than she would ever be able to accomplish by her own calling.
I began to hear a roar of those in this "abortion room" in heaven as they shouted forth their similar requests, pointing to those who were on the earth and appealing to God to release their callings upon a generation. I could see people who were in this generation receiving as many as seven callings from those who were in heaven petitioning their God.
How is God going to inherit the earth through a generation? We need to begin to understand how the justice of God works: a sevenfold anointing is being released!
Yet if he [the thief] is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house. Proverbs 6:31

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
[Ed. Note—The woman who had this experience, though a very spiritual and godly lady, has never been used in this way before by the Holy Spirit, and in fact the whole prayer meeting was highly unusual, not at all typical for our church. But I think it points to a higher level the church must rise to if we’re really going to defeat such entrenched, demonic foes as abortion. The answer to abortion and so many other critical issues facing the church is not more political action, not sympathetic Supreme Court justices, not more laws enacted, not even more (and I say this carefully) "prayer." What we do need more of is the power of God moving like the ladies experienced.]

How Do I Get Into the Presence of God?

By David Hobbs

#1--Defeating Inhibitions

Christians pray all the time, yet rarely get into the felt presence of the Lord.
What do you think of when the words “prayer meeting” are uttered? Do you think of some guy (maybe yourself?) kneeling down at a chair, burying his head in the seat, whispering a few prayers, thanking God for a few blessings, and soon spacing out, thinking about other things or falling asleep? Or do you think of someone praying out loud, droning on and on about all kinds of things while others say an occasional “amen,” much like your wife might rattle on about her day while you’re reading the newspaper and occasionally uttering a “yes dear,” so she thinks you’re paying attention? Why does a silent but collective groan go through the congregation when the pastor announces a special prayer meeting? Does prayer seem like the deadest form of religion there is? Are you surprised when a prayer actually gets answered and wonder why?
In churches all over America, these and similar scenes are being played out every week. And yet the Bible seems to put a high premium on prayer. Elijah ended a 3 year national drought through prayer, Jesus and Peter raised people from the dead through prayer, as did Elisha and Elijah in the O.T. Moses did all kinds of crazy things through prayer, like splitting the earth open and swallowing up opponents, bringing the plagues upon Egypt, etc. So where is that kind of prayer power today? Certainly not in most of our churches!
What if I told you that you could walk in that kind of a powerful prayer life? Could you believe it? What would it be worth to have it? What would you be willing to do to get it?
“Is it easy?” I didn’t say it was easy, but few things in God are! The question should not be “is it easy?” (no it’s not), but “is it possible?” Yes yes yes!
The problem is: in American Christianity we try to see how many things we can do without God. We have programs we follow every week, money-raising systems, skilled musicians, talented preachers, Sunday school curriculum that spell everything out, salvation material, follow-up material, counseling materials—there’s nothing wrong with these things per se, but where does God and the Holy Spirit fit in? If God stayed home from our church for a week, would anything about the service change or would it be just like any other week?
It reminds me of a story I heard of a prophet of God visiting a mega church, sitting in the back. As the worship service was going on with great sound and fury, suddenly he had a vision of Jesus walking down the aisle towards him. “Lord, where are you going? He asked as Jesus passed by.
“I’m leaving,” said the Lord.
“But why? Everything’s going so well!”
“I know. They can do it all without me so I’m leaving.”
Prayer is definitely one thing that can’t be done without the Lord. The Bible says we don’t know how to pray as we ought (Rom. 8:26). The disciples were always asking Jesus to teach them to pray. Jesus taught that some people’s prayers were listened to and answered (Matt. 6:6) while other people were only praying to themselves (Luke 18:11)!
Beloved, like I said before, the secret to a productive and satisfying prayer life is getting into the presence of the Lord. Then we are praying what’s on His heart with His power.
So how do we do that? I have found the biggest thing that stands in people’s way is their inhibitions. An inhibition is “*a feeling or belief that prevents somebody from behaving spontaneously or speaking freely.”
[*Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.]
We are so bound up by religion and the fear of man that we are not free to let the Holy Spirit move through us. The Holy Spirit would lead us right into the presence of God if we would yield to Him. I know because I was one of the most inhibited people on the face of the earth. I was a lot like my great Uncle Eslie in Out of the Fire (P. 309). My best friend in college called me “obsequious” and “wishy-washy” (p.6). I’m still much the same--the Holy Spirit hasn’t changed my basic personality a great deal over the years except in the area of prayer and spiritual pursuits.
The Holy Spirit used to move on me mightily back when I was first saved, and I was impelled to go out and preach on the streets of Marysville. I got used to getting prayed up until I felt the forceful power of the Holy Spirit and then going out and preaching as I felt led. Later on I felt moved to make a commitment and a covenant with God to preach every Sat. night on the streets until either revival came to Marysville or He moved me out of town. This created a problem in that I could no longer just go out and preach when I felt led or especially empowered. I had to go out now whether I felt like it or not.
But this led to a great discovery. I had the power to create my own anointing, with my mouth. Week after week I would walk (usually alone) the 5 blocks from our house on 7th St. to the red light district from 1st through 3rd Sts.--a weak, fearful, anxious human being. But once there, in front of this little diner—the only well-lit spot, and the only establishment that didn’t sell booze—I would open my mouth and launch out into preaching or reading the Word at the top of my voice, and the Holy Spirit would meet me right there with the anointing every time. With the first sound out of my lips it was like I was changed into another person—powerful, confident, fearless. Indeed I’ve had my Bible ripped out of my hands and torn up page by page in front of me; I’ve had hotdogs from the diner stuck in my mouth as I was speaking—nothing mattered. I kept on preaching or reading or proclaiming in power, and the Holy Spirit was always with me. But no matter how many times it happened, I always had to take the first step of faith and open my mouth and launch out, like Peter had to step out of the boat before he could walk on the water, and the Levites had to step into the water with the ark before the waters stopped flowing and the river dried up (Joshua 4:15).
We can “create,” as it were, reality with our mouths. It’s just like a robber walking into a bank. For awhile he is like any other anonymous patron, until he opens his mouth, “THIS IS A STICKUP!” With that statement he has crossed over into a whole ‘nother reality that will change his and everyone else’s lives in the bank forever. Some people will never get over the fear that suddenly strikes their heart, the robber will either be launched into a life of crime, or quickly arrested and imprisoned for years, with a record that follows him the rest of his life. And it all happened with that one ringing declaration.
Prayer can be the same way. Through prayer under the unction of the Holy Spirit we can set whole new realities into motion. We can judge and punish demonic forces (Psalm 149:6-9), launch ministries into being, set people free from bondages, heal the sick . . . anything the Holy Spirit wants to do through us we can pray and proclaim into existence. But we have to defeat our inhibitions and the concurrent fear of man or we will never do anything. Half hearted doesn’t cut it (see the story of Jehoash in 2 Kings 13:14-19).

Praying in His Presence

By David Hobbs

People ask, “What can I do in order to pray for an hour? I run out of requests and things to thank Him for after the first 5 minutes; now what?” Other people want to know what I mean when I talk about intimacy with God.
Have you ever had a time where you felt especially close to God, like He was right there? Mike Harris had such an experience in Out of the Fire on that fire up in Idaho (The Big One, p. 355). All of us who are born again have had those special experiences, which I call “being in His Presence.” That concept, my friend, is the key to a satisfying, productive and vibrant prayer life—Praying in His Presence! (When Mike prayed in His Presence, the wind reversed and the fire stopped!)
Consider these Scriptures: 1) Psalm 16:11 (NKJV)—“In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” 2) Exodus 33:14 (NIV)--God speaking to Moses when Moses asked who God would send with them to take them to the Promised Land. “The Lord replied, ‘My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest’” 3) Deut. 4:37 (NIV)—“[God] brought you [the nation of Israel] out of Egypt by his Presence and his great strength.” 4) Psalm 21:6 (NIV)—“Surely you [God] have granted him [the king] eternal blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence.” 5) Psalm 51:11 (NIV)—“Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.”
Though in one sense God is everywhere all the time, yet the Bible still speaks of His Presence manifesting itself in particular places at particular times. It’s like God has cameras running everywhere all the time—He always knows what is happening everywhere and it’s all being recorded, but that doesn’t mean that God’s will is being done everywhere. We know from Scripture that Satan is the prince of this world (John 12:31, 14:30, and 16:11), and it’s Satan’s will, not God’s, being done throughout much of the earth (that’s why we’re to pray that God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven). But when God’s Presence shows up, that’s like God showing up in person with all of His power and glory. When God’s Presence shows up, demons have to flee (Psalm 114:7 [NIV]—“Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord.”), and the wicked too (Psalm 5:5 [NIV]—“The arrogant cannot stand in your presence.”
And it’s God’s very Presence that we want to experience when we pray. Otherwise how can you be intimate with someone who is not there? The American church’s mentality in prayer is that God is watching and listening to us as we pray, but like with the recording camera. It’s all being recorded and played back for Him in heaven, but meanwhile we experience nothing on our end and have no idea how He is responding, whether we have His ear or not. Beloved, that’s not God’s perfect will for us. Sure there are times when we have to pray in faith, but the norm is to pray in His Presence.
“Sounds great,” you might say, “but how exactly do I do that? God rarely shows up in my life like that. If I had to wait for those times, I’d hardly ever pray!”
The answer is simple—when we pray, we are to pray-in the Presence of the Lord; we can cause His Presence to manifest, then when His presence is there, we can let the Holy Spirit lead us in our prayer time and do and say exactly what He wants. Then it’s not us praying, but Him praying through us—Christ in you the hope of glory! The whole secret of prayer is to first get into the Presence of the Lord, and then be led of the Spirit.
(Next, “How do I get into the Presence of the Lord?)

What Is Prayer?

By David Hobbs

To most of the American Christian world, prayer consists of “presenting our requests and petitions to God.” In other words, asking for stuff. “Dear God, please heal my puppy. Oh and save Aunt Alma. And please get me a better job where they don’t laugh at me all the time because I’m a Christian. And I pray my wife would love me more and not spend so much money at the beauty parlor. And I pray dear God! Make her a better driver so she don’t bang up this car like the last one.” On it goes until we finally run down and quit, without feeling we’ve actually accomplished anything, and not really sure that anyone is listening or even cares.
Oh but then there’s also Intercessory Prayer, we mustn’t forget that. Intercessory prayer is all of the above but at a much louder volume. And it usually involves the missionaries too. Lord I pray that you save Aunt Alma, and bless the missionaries in Taiwan and Ubekestan! To this add some cries and groanings and dreadful grimaces and brother you’ve got it.
The Bible does tell us to make our requests known to God, and that we "have not because we ask not," but that’s not all prayer is. That’s just “prayer getting started.”
The Gospels speak of Jesus going out and spending all night praying to God (Luke 6:12). What was He doing out there all night? Coming up with one request after another for the entire night? Apparently one thing that was happening was that God was instructing Jesus who to pick as the 12 disciples, because the first thing He did coming down from the mountain was just that. And the next thing He did was deliver His main teaching that in Matthew we call the “Sermon on the Mount.” So He must have been doing a lot of receiving from God rather than just making requests. So God was speaking to Jesus as well as Jesus speaking to the Father.
We could flesh this out more, but in the end we would see that prayer is communing with God--spending time with God--much as you would spend time with a best friend, your spouse, or a beloved parent. Think of how those times go: you spend some time talking, some time listening, some time waiting for the other to speak, and some time just hanging out. I spend time listening to my wife rattle on because I love her and I want to know what she’s been doing what’s on her heart. I rattle on to her sometimes because something has happened that has me excited and I want her to know about it. We usually get business out of the way early on—requests, scheduling, things to buy at the store, etc. because that’s the least important and least exciting part of our relationship. Get the drippy faucet and kids needing new shoes out of the way before you start progressing to the next level of intimacy where your heart beats faster!
God wants to spend time with us in the same way. He wants to know what we need, but doesn’t want us to rattle off our wish list and then leave Him for something more enjoyable, like the TV or our big-boy toys. That breaks His heart. He wants to spend time with us, just like we want to spend time with those we truly love, which in some cases might even be our faithful dog. But what if old Fido, after receiving our petting and a treat, turned tail and went out and played wrestle with the cat, or learned how to throw the ball against the side of the house and chase it himself, having a great time entertaining himself, and only came back and showed affection to us at mealtime? We’d want to get a new dog! But isn’t that the way we treat God?
Prayer is about spending time with God. But spending time doing what? How about spending time doing things He likes, like thanking Him for all He does for us, showing appreciation for His mercy and goodness, singing songs of worship to Him, asking Him to change our hearts so we can love Him more, confess our hard hearts and usual indifference to Him, acknowledge our shortcomings and ask for His grace. Then spend some time waiting in His Presence, listening to what He might be speaking in your thoughts (God often communicates with us by putting thoughts in our minds, rather than by an identifiable voice. If a thought is a lot smarter than we are, it might well be from Him!).
The key ingredient is time, spending time with Him. That means that during this time we will not allow our mind to think about anything else: not our job, our plans, our family, rehearsing the day’s events, worries about bills. . . nothing but about Him! That is the most difficult part—controlling the mind—but the mind can be trained and controlled with perseverance. And oh what a joy when we begin to reap the benefits of being in His presence! There is nothing like it. And gradually everything else in life will pale before the joy that comes from being with Him. “I am a friend of God. I am a friend of God. I am a friend of God He calls me ‘friend’.” We sing the song. But are we willing to do what it takes to make it happen?

Tradeshow Intercession

By David Hobbs

[Before reading this post, read the last 2 posts in the order written and it will be in context. All three stories happened within days of each other.]

The Christian Booksellers Tradeshow in Atlanta (July, 2007) was a massive event. It took place in one building of the World Congress Center, which in itself is a huge facility, filling floors of meeting rooms, auditoriums, etc. But the epicenter was the main exhibit hall in the lowest basement, a cavernous room with 9 acres of exhibits containing over 400 exhibitors in 3 categories: Book and Bible, Gifts, and Music.
The first day was a blur of activity. I found the booth of the Christian Small Publisher’s Association, my group, and met the others from the group who had come to exhibit, a brave band of unknown souls up against the Zondervans and Thomas Nelsons of the Christian publishing world.
And then came the book signings, of which I was the first. We pulled a little table out into the aisle, where I sat with a stack of my books. Others in the group went out into the teeming throngs handing out catalogs of our books and inviting book buyers to come to the table to get a free, autographed copy of my book. Soon I was signing and passing out books as fast as I could write for the better part of an hour. Then my hour was up, and it was my turn to go out in the crowds and hustle for other signing authors. Thus the day flew by, with hardly time to eat.
By Tuesday, that part of my responsibility was over, and I was free to walk the aisles and check out the exhibits. I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount and variety of what was available: printed books by the thousands, audio books, online books, companies that would print books one at a time, foreign printers from India, Mexico, and South Korea, brokers who would find a printer for you, ghost writers, illustrators, companies that sold curriculum for Sunday School, children’s church, youth ministries and adult classes, companies that would turn your printed book into an audio book, companies that would translate your book into Spanish, or Russian, or East Timorian—it went on and on. And then there was the gift section, a seemingly endless array of candles, jewelry, knick knacks, banners, paintings, choir robes, posters, chairs, vestments, church calendars, coffee cups, greeting cards, offering envelopes, communion servers and . . .
“Wow,” I thought, “all this because of one Man.” The thought that this was all because of Jesus made me wonder, “What would Jesus think if He were here wandering these aisles with me?” And then I remembered that He was indeed wandering these aisles with me because He was in me. I immediately went inside my spirit and started checking to see if I could get a read from Him. It didn’t look good. “What if Jesus were walking these aisles in the flesh, as Jesus? How would the people respond?” I thought for a minute. “Hmm. Well if He wasn’t wearing nice clothes and didn’t have money to spend on their wares, they wouldn’t give him the time of day. They wouldn’t care a whit about His teaching. These people aren’t here to get the answers to life’s problems; they’re here to make money! This is not about Truth, or lost souls, or redeeming the earth from the curse, or establishing the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth; this is about business!”
The sad truth of this reality brought me down from the euphoria I had been feeling from the high of meeting people and getting my book out into the big world. But I soon got caught up in the whirlwind of activity again, looking for contacts, talking to people, networking, etc. and forgot about it.
Later, back at my hotel room, I was like a kid after way too many sugary treats, who had been running around at a birthday party past his bedtime. My body was exhausted but my mind was spinning a mile a minute. I tried to pray, but after making an attempt for awhile, I found myself working the Suduko puzzle from the USA Today newspaper left under my door that morning. “What the. . . !” I couldn’t even remember making a conscious decision to do that. I tried to pray again, but it was no use; my mind was off in a million directions and all my body wanted to do was sleep.
I gave up and lay down in bed, pulling the covers over me and letting go into the bliss of dreamland. As I lay there waiting for unconsciousness to overtake me, my mind wandered over the events of the day. I remembered that “What-if-Jesus-were-here-moment” and in my mind’s eye saw the exhibit hall as if from a crow’s nest perched above it with the multitudes thronging the aisles below.
That mental picture was a trigger! In an instant it all came back. The power of God hit me: I snapped awake, bolted up in bed, swung my legs over the edge to the floor and began interceding. All the tiredness and lack of focus vanished as if they had never been. I was seeing it from God’s perspective and my heart was breaking. All that He had done in sending Jesus to redeem lost man, all that it had cost Him, all that it had cost heaven for the Son of God to be tortured, rejected, humiliated, and finally crucified; from sweating the great drops of blood and the loud cries of agony in the garden to that tortured cry on the cross, “My God my God, why hast thou forsaken me?!”—all that, for US, and we turn it into nothing more than a way to make money! I was crying now, my body wracked in great sobs. I kept saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” It seemed like the ultimate rejection and humiliation, greater than what they did to Jesus on the cross. They didn’t know any better then [“Father forgive them, they know not what they do”], but we know exactly who Jesus was, why He came and what he accomplished. We know all about Him driving the money changers and sellers of doves out of the temple because they had turned His Father’s house into a place of merchandise. And yet we hadn’t learned a thing, just kept thoughtlessly repeating the same mistakes in our day.
I fell back on the bed, my body convulsing in agony. My words had turned to gasping cries. The tears were streaming from my eyes and my nose was making a mess. I staggered into the bathroom for tissues, blew my nose, and flopped down once more on the bed while the convulsions gradually subsided and the mind-wracking thoughts and visions ceased.
Finally a great peace settled over me and I was lying in the arms of Jesus, resting from the torrent of emotion. I couldn’t change what they were doing to Him. But through prayer, through the intimacy of the Spirit, I could share the sorrow with Him, and that seemed to be enough.