What Is Prayer?

By David Hobbs

To most of the American Christian world, prayer consists of “presenting our requests and petitions to God.” In other words, asking for stuff. “Dear God, please heal my puppy. Oh and save Aunt Alma. And please get me a better job where they don’t laugh at me all the time because I’m a Christian. And I pray my wife would love me more and not spend so much money at the beauty parlor. And I pray dear God! Make her a better driver so she don’t bang up this car like the last one.” On it goes until we finally run down and quit, without feeling we’ve actually accomplished anything, and not really sure that anyone is listening or even cares.
Oh but then there’s also Intercessory Prayer, we mustn’t forget that. Intercessory prayer is all of the above but at a much louder volume. And it usually involves the missionaries too. Lord I pray that you save Aunt Alma, and bless the missionaries in Taiwan and Ubekestan! To this add some cries and groanings and dreadful grimaces and brother you’ve got it.
The Bible does tell us to make our requests known to God, and that we "have not because we ask not," but that’s not all prayer is. That’s just “prayer getting started.”
The Gospels speak of Jesus going out and spending all night praying to God (Luke 6:12). What was He doing out there all night? Coming up with one request after another for the entire night? Apparently one thing that was happening was that God was instructing Jesus who to pick as the 12 disciples, because the first thing He did coming down from the mountain was just that. And the next thing He did was deliver His main teaching that in Matthew we call the “Sermon on the Mount.” So He must have been doing a lot of receiving from God rather than just making requests. So God was speaking to Jesus as well as Jesus speaking to the Father.
We could flesh this out more, but in the end we would see that prayer is communing with God--spending time with God--much as you would spend time with a best friend, your spouse, or a beloved parent. Think of how those times go: you spend some time talking, some time listening, some time waiting for the other to speak, and some time just hanging out. I spend time listening to my wife rattle on because I love her and I want to know what she’s been doing what’s on her heart. I rattle on to her sometimes because something has happened that has me excited and I want her to know about it. We usually get business out of the way early on—requests, scheduling, things to buy at the store, etc. because that’s the least important and least exciting part of our relationship. Get the drippy faucet and kids needing new shoes out of the way before you start progressing to the next level of intimacy where your heart beats faster!
God wants to spend time with us in the same way. He wants to know what we need, but doesn’t want us to rattle off our wish list and then leave Him for something more enjoyable, like the TV or our big-boy toys. That breaks His heart. He wants to spend time with us, just like we want to spend time with those we truly love, which in some cases might even be our faithful dog. But what if old Fido, after receiving our petting and a treat, turned tail and went out and played wrestle with the cat, or learned how to throw the ball against the side of the house and chase it himself, having a great time entertaining himself, and only came back and showed affection to us at mealtime? We’d want to get a new dog! But isn’t that the way we treat God?
Prayer is about spending time with God. But spending time doing what? How about spending time doing things He likes, like thanking Him for all He does for us, showing appreciation for His mercy and goodness, singing songs of worship to Him, asking Him to change our hearts so we can love Him more, confess our hard hearts and usual indifference to Him, acknowledge our shortcomings and ask for His grace. Then spend some time waiting in His Presence, listening to what He might be speaking in your thoughts (God often communicates with us by putting thoughts in our minds, rather than by an identifiable voice. If a thought is a lot smarter than we are, it might well be from Him!).
The key ingredient is time, spending time with Him. That means that during this time we will not allow our mind to think about anything else: not our job, our plans, our family, rehearsing the day’s events, worries about bills. . . nothing but about Him! That is the most difficult part—controlling the mind—but the mind can be trained and controlled with perseverance. And oh what a joy when we begin to reap the benefits of being in His presence! There is nothing like it. And gradually everything else in life will pale before the joy that comes from being with Him. “I am a friend of God. I am a friend of God. I am a friend of God He calls me ‘friend’.” We sing the song. But are we willing to do what it takes to make it happen?