Surprising Victory from Total Defeat

By David Hobbs

Not long ago I awoke early in the morning to go out to the church to pray. I was tired and would have preferred going back to bed. But I really wanted to meet with the Lord so I pushed through that, got dressed, and made my way out to the church, a 15 minute drive away.

Once at the church, things didn’t get much better. I sat and waited on the Lord for awhile, invited the Holy Spirit, felt His presence come to a certain degree, enjoyed what measure I had.... But I was still tired and couldn’t muster any energy. I didn’t have the strength to pray, sing, or even walk around. I could say there was a lot of spiritual oppression, but then some dear saint would correct me, “Why do you always have to make everything spiritual? Wasn’t it just plain old physical tiredness from too early in the morning?”

I have found that the enemy will take any negative condition we’re in and multiply it against us. If we’re sad about something he will try to turn it into depression. If we’re disgusted about how we’ve failed God and fallen short, he’ll turn it into condemnation. And if we’re weak or tired, he’ll multiply that into spiritual oppression.

So yes I was tired, but that wasn’t the whole story. That was just the beginning of the story. When we’re stymied in prayer, we rarely know why. We know we can’t break through, but have no idea what we’re up against because we can’t see.
Daniel didn’t know why he couldn’t break through in prayer for 21 days, even though he was fasting and doing everything right. He had no idea he was being resisted by the mighty spirit prince of Persia, until the angel Gabriel was able, with Michael’s help, to break through and tell him (Daniel 10).

So that morning I had no idea to what extent the resistance I was experiencing was from my tired flesh or from some spiritual power outside myself.

I tried as hard as I could to focus on God in my thoughts, to at least give Him my time and attention, even if I couldn’t bring forth any praise or worship. But it was a losing battle. I got up and moved to a different location, still trying, but still facing a brick wall.

Well into the second hour I started losing focus and falling asleep. Once you enter that stage, there’s little chance of recovery.

I finally gave up, turned off the lights, locked up and headed for home. I had been there an hour and a half, said nothing, sang nothing, prayed nothing did nothing. From my perspective it had been a total loss. I had not prayed any prayers, walked in the Spirit, received anything from God, experienced the anointing, or accomplished anything in the spirit realm. If I had judged my performance I would have given myself an “F” for “Total Failure.”
I went home and went back to bed.

So what’s the story? Why am I even telling this? Don’t we all fail like this in life over and over? Welcome to the real world, Hobbs!

Ah but here’s the rub. Later that morning when I started my day’s work—which this day was calling Christian school librarians about sending them a copy of my Out of the Fire book—as soon as I started calling, the heavens opened and the blessing came down! For two hours everybody I called was available and everybody I talked to was enthusiastic. I was sending out books right and left. I’d been doing this for over a year, and had never had a series of responses like that—it was off the chart. To my thinking it was a better answer from heaven than I would have expected if I had had a smashingly successful prayer time: shouting out praises and victory declarations; taking song requests from angels; falling on my knees in joyous worship... the whole nine yards.

I was greatly encouraged, and greatly humbled, to see once more that God is sovereign; He can do as He pleases. And He was pleased to bless my prayer offering that day, even though it appeared pitifully small. He does not always judge success the way we do. I was not being flaky or lazy or apathetic. I really was giving Him all I had, though it seemed pathetically weak. I imagine there might have been great, unseen forces arrayed against me that day, but who knows?

What I felt the Holy Spirit telling me through this experience was, “Pray on, my son! Pray on!